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Showing posts with label countyourblessings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label countyourblessings. Show all posts

Friday, May 23, 2014

Melepaskan diri dari kesusahan dan kemiskinan, adalah perkara dalam, semuanya dalam fikiranmu

Tiada sesiapa dalam dunia ini ingin hidupnya ditimpa kesusahan. Tiada siapa bangun tidur waktu pagi dan berkata "Tuhan, berilah aku kesusahan". Instead, you wake up early in the morning hoping for the best from God. 

Apabila melihat seseorang dalam kesusahan, kita cenderung berkata:

"Dia susah kerana dia tidak berusaha."
"Biarlah dia tu, padan muka jadi miskin. Masa senang dulu sangat boros." 
"Ah, dia itu memang, aku ajak mencari duit lebih tak mahu. Padanlah dengan dirinya jadi susah."

Sedangkan, adakah kita terlupa bahawa susah senangnya seseorang itu adalah ketentuan Allah? Are we that ignorant to ignore the fact that everything we gain and lose depends on His decision? Atau, adakah kita terlalu taksub dengan pandangan bahawa sesiapa yang berusaha dia akan mendapat ganjarannya, lalu melupakan bahawa ganjaran itu semuanya datang dari Allah?

Carilah rezeki semahumu, tapi jangan riak. Kita tidak tahu dimana kita akan berada tahun depan, bulan depan, minggu depan, esok, malahan di saat yang berikutnya. Kerana dalam masa satu saat, kita boleh berada di antara dunia yang fana atau alam barzakh. 

Ingatlah, ketika kehidupanmu senang, ketika kekayaanmu melimpah, ingatlah bahawa orang yang susah ketika kehidupanmu senang itu akan senang juga suatu hari nanti. Bukan kamu seorang yang tahu berusaha. Usahalah dengan jalanmu sendiri, tetapi jangan sekali-kali merendah-rendahkan usaha orang lain. Kerana nilai pada sesuatu barang berharga itu berbeza pada setiap orang.

Aku ceritakan pada kamu bagaimana aku mendapat pemahaman ini. Aku pernah membuat kerja tambahan, dan kerja itu aku lakukan bersama rakanku. Semasa membuat kerja, aku dapati diriku diberi tugas yang berat, dan memeningkan kepala. Sedangkan rakanku, walaupun tugasnya banyak, namun ia bersifat "repetitive", iaitu, kerja yang sama sahaja. Quantity vs Quality.

Lalu aku berfikir, "Ini tidak adil. Aku membuat kerja yang susah, sedangkan upah kami sama." Aku berfikiran sebegini selama beberapa hari. Tibalah hari pembayaran, dan kami dibayar upah yang sama.

Mungkin disebabkan didikan oleh keluarga dan guru-guruku, aku bukanlah orang yang akan mempersoalkan kenapa bayaranku berbeza, tambahan pula rezeki tu adalah kategori rezeki mengejut iaitu ditawarkan membuat kerja ini secara tiba-tiba. Maknanya, it could've been given to someone else, but it was given to me. Therefore I cannot ask for too much. Aku menerima sahaja tanpa berkata apa-apa, walaupun dalam hatiku ada juga perasaan tidak baik. 

Aku menyedari sesuatu apabila aku membeli sesuatu menggunakan duit tersebut. Aku membeli sehelai baju yang harganya sangat mahal (pada aku), tetapi selepas diskaun, aku cuma membayar RM40 ringgit sahaja. Begitu juga dengan makanan, apabila dibayar dengan menggunakan duit yang aku terima hasil kerja tambahan itu, aku mendapat lebih banyak dari yang sepatutnya. Percuma itu, diskaun ini, tawar-menawar yang berjaya, dibelanja rakan-rakan walaupun pada mulanya aku yang ingin belanja mereka.

Pada masa itu aku teringat perasaan aku yang mengatakan aku tidak dibayar sepatutnya. Inilah pengajaranNya padaku: NILAI SESUATU HARTA ITU BERBEZA. RM1 pada seseorang berbeza, berdasarkan keadaan mereka. Dan siapa yang meletakkan mereka dalam keadaan tersebut (susah atau senang)? Tuhanmu, siapa lagi?

Semasa itu, aku terasa sebak. Kenapa aku begitu senang melupakan kuasa Allah? Kenapa semasa aku diuji aku tidak mahu menyerahkan takdirku kepada Allah? Baru diduga sekecil itu dan aku telahpun tewas.

Semenjak itu, aku cuba mengubah persepsi mengenai wang dan harta. Kalau sudah termaktub bahawa harta itu hak kamu, datanglah sekuat badai sekalipun ia tetap akan jadi hak kamu. Kalau sudah termakstub bahawa ianya bukanlah hak kamu, berusahalah sekuatnya sehingga keluar air mata darah sekalipun, ia tidak akan jadi hak milik kamu. Pada masa itu, kuatkan fikiranmu, teguhkan dalam hati, "Allah has better plans for me". Kerana itulah yang sebaiknya.

Kerana itu, aku berusaha sedaya mungkin untuk tidak memandang pada harta dan kebendaan. Apabila dihina kerana aku miskin, aku tunduk, senyum dan berkata dalam hatiku "Hai lah saudara, kalau kamu tahu apa yang aku telah nampak dan faham, kamu tidak akan berkata atau berfikir sebegitu. I pity you, but I pray for Allah to show you the same thing that he has shown me."

Itulah serba sedikit bagaimana aku diberi peluang melihat kekuasaan Allah dengan caraNya yang tersendiri. Kita tidak mungkin tahu segala-galanya di dalam dunia ini. Apabila diberi peluang, ambillah dengan sebaiknya. Pelajari, amalkan, dan berserahlah setelah berusaha. Itu yang sebaiknya.

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Candidature Defense

Alhamdulillah...I passed.

Best of all, the promise that Allah has made to his vicegerents, that He would help those who make an effort, was truly glorified on that day. I was given the most helpful people as my examiners. They commented on things I overlooked, gave me some wonderful ideas on how to make my dissertation better for the people in the fields of Corpus Linguistics and Conceptual Metaphor Theory, and mostly, I did not have to go through the bad experience as some people had during candidature defense.

Right now I am working on my dissertation, amending everything that needs amendment. Once Dr S is satisfied with my writing, then only would I be able to submit.

And then wait.

And do correction (maybe not? InsyaAllah).

And then wait.

And then...











Friday, June 14, 2013

Count Your Blessings Friday

Oh...I almost missed this! Anyways, this week I am thankful for:


Photo from here
  • Cranberry Cheese from The Loaf that Dr Jawakhir gave me this afternoon. So freaking delish! I'm definitely going to The Loaf some time this week.
  • For the response from Dr S about my chapter 4 in which she said it's good albeit needing some clarifications. Really keep me up and running with the rest of the dissertation.
  • For smooth albeit adventurous journeys. Today I got off at the wrong stop after 40mins bus ride from Putrajaya. I feel lost, but I buck up and continue walking, saw something that looks like railway station and keep going until I reach a full station ahead of where I was supposed to stop. Luckily I got to the campus safely.
I want to write more, but I can't remember. Maybe I'll update this later.

Friday, June 7, 2013

Count your blessings..with a calculator!



I have heard that phrase many times...Count Your Blessings. But what does it means? For all I know, I would be counting my blessing with the amount of ringgits I have in my bank account every end of the month, right after I paid all the bills and give money to my mom.

I suppose it should be more than that right? After all, most things that we cannot live without in our lives are free. The air that we breathe, the water (we pay the monthly bill but if we use less than RM20 it's free, remember?), even down to the land that we step on.

I read this blog, and I notice that this person lists down things that she is thankful for once a week. It would be a good mental exercise, trying to recount what happened for the past week that enable you to be where you are in the current week.

So I think I would do the same. Lately I have been feeling down because of that you-know-who and also because I am in no better financial shape compared to last year. I made a new year resolution (to myself, that is) that I would get significantly better pay this year, but it's not happening soon. Very little things can make me feeling so down, and most of the time it is money.



Today out of the blue Cik Asiah gave me "nasi bungkus" It was a meal from that awesome Indian restaurant down the road near 9th College. She bought me a wholesome meal - rice, fried tenggiri, potatos, vegetables and curry gravy. What a delicious meal. The only downturn is that I had it when it was already cold as I was fasting.

Oh, when I said today I meant June 6th. Didn't realize it is already another day.

I was actually craving for some ikan tenggiri and curry gravy with rice, and look what I got today. Perhaps I give HIM too little credit for not listening to what I want in life. Maybe I didn't realize what I got because I never wrote about them. Maybe, by writing what I receive or be thankful for everyday would remind me how much luckier I am compared to the people in Niger whose lives are so much worse than mine, and there's nothing they can do about it.

I can do something with my life. In fact, I am trying very hard to change my life. I want to learn, to get the highest degree, to earn Professorship before I retire. For now, the future looks bleak but it's not going to be like that forever. If I work hard enough I know I can make it. Heck, I felt like I graduated already when I handed the first part of my Chapter 4 on Wednesday!

When I went to get my rice from Dr Jawakhir (Cik Asiah left the rice with Dr J), I sat down and chatted with her a bit, since she will be retiring end of this month. She asked me why am I doing something very difficult for my thesis. I had to be honest: metaphor isn't my first choice. But I think I forgot to tell her how freaking in love am I with Wmatrix. I sound a bit demotivated because I am running out of time, but how I wish I know more about it!

How, I wish, that with just one look at the data, I can make better analysis and conclusion. I don't know what to say when I found out that the simplified text has more pronouns and less adjectives compared to original text. Please excuse my thesis-related ramblings but I feel so down when I can't figure out things easily. That is another point. I tend to forget when I had an epiphany about my thesis and only remember the times when I can't perform well.



So, I will write here as much blessings as I had these past few days and make every Friday a "Count your blessings" day.

  • I fell down in front of the ATM machine but I didn't bleed. Just a few bruises on my knees. I still can walk, still can pray despite having to pray on the chair. 
  • I am thankful for nasi bungkus from Cik Asiah (she's literally Dr Asiah now but she refused the title and insist people call her as Cik Asiah as usual).
  • When I fell, I had no medicine with me. I went to see Ifa and her roommate gave me gamat (sea cucumber) oil. Then I told Cik Asiah what happened and she also gave another bottle of minyak ubat.
  • I am thankful for Ifa's help by letting me stay in her room while waiting for the laundry to be done, for giving me some detergent, and for telling me how to get around in college (where's the bathroom, the washing machine, where to hang the clothes)
  • I am thankful for Ifa's roommate who doesn't seem to mind I am there many times.
  • I am thankful for after the nasi bungkus, I got some papaya from Cik Asiah. 
  • I am thankful for the place where I am writing nowadays is air-conditioned and no one bothers me and that I have access to it 24 hours a day.
  • I am thankful for the wifi is free, and there is a fridge and I can keep my food in there.
  • I am thankful for the taxi driver last Wednesday was not a fussy one and sent me to the campus without much questions, even after seeing me carrying so many mineral water.
  • I am thankful that my credit card still works even if I am wayyy past the limit. Have to stop spending with it though. At least til I pay the next bill.
  • I am thankful for the RM10 Jusco voucher I cashed in. Still thinking what to buy with it.
  • I am thankful that my 3rd Rejab fasting day was not as tiring and that I could still walk around Midvalley without collapsing after a day of fasting.
  • I am thankful for that CD with Quran MP3 I received as wedding goodies.
  • I am thankful for the delicious food at UM Food Court which sells food at normal price but with large servings.
  • I am thankful for not having fever for a long long time once I dumped that particular brand of facial care. No more sore tonsil. This also means I can do more when I am healthy.
  • I am thankful for having another Popeye's voucher in my purse, along with a voucher for two free movie tickets from GSC which I have no idea when I can use (can't wait!).
  • I am thankful for the umbrella in the office which I borrowed this afternoon, and without it I might end up wet on my way back.
  • I am thankful for the PC with 24 hours internet even when the wifi went kaput yesterday.
I'd better stop now. Have to prepare sahur. Probably bread with butter. Can't wait for next Friday.

What are you thankful for? Have you thanked the person for giving it to you?