Best kept secret

The post title above refers to the next instalment in Jeffrey Archer's The Sins of The Father. I picked up the first in the series and talked about it here, and I thought I would agonize for several months before I get to read SOTF, but heck no, I bought it yesterday. A new book. With full price at MPH. I think I agonised enough before finally deciding to buy it no matter what. To some people RM31.90 is a small feat but not to me, after I found out about this store.

Book price aside, TSOTF is worth every cent I spent. It was imaginative, detailed and so freaking wicked that I want to tweet Jeffrey Archer everyday to finish the next book quickly!

But the title of the book does not only refer to JA's next book, it is what I felt I had to write about after stalking reading a blog post written by a person who questions whether other people's life is as interesting as hers, albeit the fact that the person did nothing to try to get to know other people.

How do you measure a person's determination? Do you read his tweet/fb posts everyday? Do you consider people who tweet/post everyday about what they're doing or what they are about to do as a determined person? Or do you measure it by their success? 

I noticed that some people like to, well, sort of "publicize" their thoughts on social networking sites. Sometimes it can be inspiring, for example people who post quotes from other famous people. Or people who just want to say good things to their friends. On the other end of the line, there are also people who recorded each and every steps of their everyday moves, just for the sake of letting people know that YES BITCHAS I AM WORKING HARD AND IT IS EVIDENT IN MY TWEETS.

To me, some things are best kept secret. A person does not have to post/tweet about his every move on online sites just to be deemed as determined. If you believe that you are doing something right, there is no reason to make sure everyone knows about it. As long as a handful important people in your lives know, that's all that matters.

That's all I want to say. That some things are best kept secret, with the word kept here acting as the action verb for the noun secret.

Serial killers...i mean, novels

I think serial novels are killers. They (the novels) hide in the book shelves in libraries or bookshops, taking  furtive glance at me as I think of what to read, and subsequently decided on a plan to kidnap me into their world of "you-would-be-left-wondering-what-happens-to-the-characters-FOREVER". 

Yes, such is the cruelty of serial novels. Don't believe me? Case 1: KUSZA (a.k.a UniSZA) library, 2002. I was wondering what next Archer's masterpiece to read once I finished As The Crow Flies. There they were, Kane and Abel and The Prodigal Daughter. Mind you, the latter is the sequence of the former. I took Kane and Abel, spent few days reading it, and by the end of the story I want more of Archer. Luckily, both books were published few years before I was born and finding them is not hard in the library.

Case 2: MPH, 2011. I was wondering what to do with the voucher given to university students. At that time I have spent half of it on stationeries. Books? Oh please, RM200 could only buy one, ONE metaphor book, my dear PM. So I spent the money on stationeries, at least I would not have to worry paying RM7 for a pen. It's free!

Ok lets get back to the story. Since it was a week away from the voucher from being a useless piece of paper with "RM50" stamped on it, I had decided to get at least one novel. So I browsed through Archer's latest publication and found "Only Time Will Tell". I had read the book up until the last few pages, and after a considerable amount of teardrops (I mean, what kind of soul would not cry reading Archer's?), I stopped reading and turned to the back page. There it is, that paragraph of death "The Clifton CHRONICLES is Jeffrey Archer's most ambitious work in four decades as an international bestselling author".

CHRONICLE?!!

I looked for the second instalment but to no avail. I found out that it would be out in May 2012. I had to wait for the paperback which will be available beginning mid September. So, I still don't know what will happen to Harry. Sigh~~

Case 3: Book Xcess, 2012. Now this one is a happy ending story. I picked up "Corduroy Mansions" as I thought it looks interesting. Once I finished it, then only I found out that it is one of three books in the series. So I checked Book Xcess website and found out that they have the second book (yay!). Not quite satisfied with the website, I called them last Sunday and they confirmed that "The Dog Who Came In From The Cold" was still available. I got dressed, took the Putra train to Taman Jaya and walked as fast as I can to the bookstore (which has crazy price on everything). And what did I find first? The third book! As I looked around the store for The Dawg, I found "A Conspiracy of Friends"...and I don't need to tell you the rest now do I? (Just finished The Dawg, want to continue with "Friends" but I am quite sleepy now).

They're all worth it, you know...all those novels I've read. I'm glad I have the chance to read them. Right now I'm waiting for Sins of The Father to come out in paperback, and I would buy it with normal price at MPH instead of waiting for the price to go down at Book Xcess. 

What chronicles/serial novels have you read?

Dreams from My Father

During my last visit to the library (which was two days ago), I finally found John McCain’s Faith from my fathers. Ha…I’m so glad! In fact, when I found the book, I almost shout, and the pakcik reading a book around the Lincoln Corner section stared at me. I bet he’s thinking what’s this girl so happy about being in the library? But I am happy! I mean, if I can’t afford to buy what I want to read, finding them in a library which its book shelves are almost half-empty would be good innit? Seriously, this state library needs so many books to fill in those shelves!

Now this might be weird because I never were interested in biographies, but since I now am practically jobless, I decided to give Obama’s a go. I’m never interested in politics; somehow, I find it satisfying to read a book written by a person who could make so many changes to the world.

Dreams from My Father by Barack Obama

I first heard of this book from Johan Jaaffar, an NST columnist who wrote about the two US presidential candidates – John McCain and Barack Obama. Since I have a lot of free time, I decided to pick it up. I first found Obama’s and after a month (because I go to the library once a month), I found McCain’s.

Anyways, this is one of those “cant-put-down” types of books, where each page will lead you to another with much anticipation and curiosity. What will he do next? Where is he heading with this? What happened to that person? It’s a very interesting insight into this Us-President-to-be Obama’s mind. For me, it explains where his extreme determination of leading a country comes from. There’s always a conflict inside him, being a black man in a white-dominated country. But that doesn’t stop him from reaching out to people. It is the case of self-discovery for Barack, much as what most of us really need sometimes.

Seems like he’s always in a dilemma of his origin, his present doings and what the future holds for him. One of the most meaningful things that he said which I quote here is:-

“I can see that my choices were never truly alone – and that that is how it should be, that to assert otherwise is to chase after a sorry sort of freedom”.

Which is exactly what I feel right now. To choose my own path would mean to disobey my mother. However, if I were to insist to do what I want to do, it will only mean that I take one step ahead that will make me fall two steps back. I would always go back to where I come from. So why make it such difficult thing for that person who raises me up? I decided to let things happen naturally. To be ready with whatever result will come out of my action – to stay in hometown.

Okay now…I’m going to start on McCain soon. Hopefully this one won’t let me down. Meanwhile, guys, enjoy the green green grass in front of your house while you still can!

The Poetry Gal

This post is dedicated to Evanna, who at a mere age of almost the same as mine, has already had a poetry book to her name.

One of the reasons why I went to Dungun last Tuesday was to get this book which I asked my niece to get it from the writer herself. On my way back to KT yesterday, the bus was an hour late, and so I decided to take a look at the book of poems written by Evanna Mohamad Ramly.

I recognized some of the poems almost immediately, as I used to visit Evanna’s blog, where she posted her poems. The one that I like most is “To An Eraser”. I felt like it was very meaningful and it just makes sense. As I continued flipping, I realized one thing: most of the poems which sound serious were written when the writer was in college. I guess that’s also logical because we tend to be very stressful at the college or workplace.

Among the poems that I like very much are:

Plated
“I make no futile attempt
To search for something that clearly isn’t there”

PDA: Painful Delusions of Affections
“Look deep into my eyes
I know there is someone else
Dancing behind yours”

And my favorite:-

To An Eraser
“Do you not tire?
of this dull life that you have
Correcting the mistake of others
by giving away bits of yourself”

There are many occasions where I felt like I am always correcting other people’s mistakes, taking the responsibility of others and being the scapegoat. However, it also makes me much stronger and at times, smarter. That’s why I can relate very much to this one poem.

I think you have displayed a very skillful art of using words to express your emotions. Some of the poems are quite deep and it is still taking me some time to understand, but don’t worry, as I have many days to spend reading, and I have included your book to my reading list. Just to understand what this writer is really trying to say through her writing.

Congratulations for the book. Keep on writing, dear, as what a lot of people would say, it’d be a waste of you ever stop writing.

Again, congratulations.

Rain On My window

Days are getting colder in my house, mostly because of the pouring rain as the monsoon season is already here (monsoon cup/monsoon season. Geddit?). I rarely go out of the house nowadays, except for when my mum needs to buy grocery, or when we both malas nak masak and we decided to scour for food around the kampung.

This week I found out about my practicum result. It is not official, though, and I am still hoping for a miracle (which I doubt will happen). The result is not that thrilling, as I was hoping I could get a good result.

I am not happy.

I wonder what happened to the word “fair” and “professional”.

Most importantly, I wonder whether all my sacrifices are wasted. Those horror period at that jin bertendang place! Urgh…

Nevermind that. As I would always say to myself, those people who misjudge me will, sooner or later, realize their mistake and the most powerful revenge is to prove that I am more worthy that what they seem to think of me.

Yesterday I went to the state library to return the books that I have borrowed and to borrow some new ones. I went there actually to find autobiographies written by Obama, “Dreams from my father” and the other one written by John McCain. Johan Jaffar wrote a review on both the autobiographies. I have always loved what Johan Jaffar wrote; therefore I decided to give them a go. I searched around and I didn’t find the book. The makcik at the counter told me that the book was at a section called “Lincoln Corner”.

Interestingly, I found out that the library has a special section, hidden at the back of some lame magazine racks, far at the end corner of the second floor, a haven for me which is called “Lincoln Corner”. I was astounded, amazed and bewildered at the sight of an abundant of autobiographies and other novels written by Americans. Now, don’t go crazy and judge me as an American lover, but it seems that at this section, books written by Americans are placed separately from other books. I wonder why.

I love to read books but I have never actually wandered farther than the fiction section in the state library. So now I guess I have a new place to explore. Apart from “Dreams of My Father” by Barack Obama, I also borrowed other books.

I guess that’s all for today. Phantom wrote that “The different would be Democrats would normally don't start a war. And that's about all we can hope from Obama”, which I intend to exploreby reading his book. People are speculating a lot about Obama and whether he can bring changes. Truth is nothing much will happen unless Obama wants to stay longer in his seat. Fact is, he’s not even in his much-awaited office yet! I wonder what Bush is doing right now, probably stuffing his aped-face with thousand pages of mistreated documents of his years in the White House.

As usual, people, have fun. If you’re staying with your mum, tonight, take some time to look at your mum’s face and think of her sacrifice for you. Then I bet you wouldn’t have problem at all in listening to her. Adieu.

Whateva la!

74. I hate dat number. Eurghhhh…some people juz dun have mercy on others aite? The result for project paper came out. And I managed to get B+ despite the fact that I think my project paper is a total mess… whateva. One more mark to get A-.

I felt so absofuckingly furious over this matter. For fuck’s sake! Its only one mark! Why are you so adamant at nailing people? Whateva la..!!!!

I think I flunked out in grammar paper. whateva happened to hardworking zura? Erghh!!!

Ok back to reality. Since last two weeks I only had one exam paper, here are the movies and series that I watched plus the books that I read to fulfill my not-so-free-time…

Secret Garden (lame Japanese series. I still wonder how the hell did I get to finish all 7 cds…???)

Korean Movies –
Two faces of my girlfriend
I think this story is really interesting *touchy*

Oh Happy Days
About a stalker who finally manage to marry her dream guy – yeah like dat cud happen in real life!

S-Diary

Now this one I recommend to all girls who had been through many relationships, or to girls who never had a relationship…ither way its really a profound work on a woman’s love…

My tutor friend 2
I so wanna marry that Park Ki-Woong…damn cute! Hahaha…

And I also watched “How to lose a guy in 10 days”, and re-watch 10 Things I Hate About You…god I love it when the *late* Heath Ledger sang “Cant take my eyes off you”. Tsk tsk…

After no more movies to watch, I read a book entitled “A Great and Terrible Beauty”. A gothic novel by Libba Bray. Quite interesting. Occult/witchery/gypsy kinda thing. My thing exactly *grin*

Gotta sleep la wey…tomorrow I promised Dr S to help her with preparation for a majlis baca yasin.

Life live cool, guys. We only have one live.

Holiday (ye ke?)

Last Friday, after pushing meself to the core, after berhempas pulas buat keje macam nak gile, I managed to complete my thesis. Sadly, bile nak pegi anta, the lecturer acted as if I wasn’t there waiting for her kat luar office. Ada ka patut????

For one, I’ve always respect my lecturers. But what she did just kinda swept away all my respects. That day I missed one bus trip to KL because of her, and I had to buy another ticket, after waiting for another hour. The trip was supposed to be at 5pm, but I only managed to get outta Tanjung Malim at 7pm. Come on la…have a heart. I’m a student, not a slave. You could’ve just ambik je the thesis and put sumwhere.

Terasa ati dowh…thesis tu aku buat cam nak gile…orang anggap macam taik je. It’s ok. You’re a lecturer. I’m just a lower rank student who doesn’t have any title to my name yet. Wait la when I get one. Huh.

Of all the lecturers here in my university, there’s only one yang betul2 jaga student. I didn’t mean to be rude, but didn’t our parents work their hard ass so bad to pay for the fees…and you just waste their money by not producing…wait…not being a TEACHER to us. I understand that you’re busy, what the heck…

Sometimes terasa jugakla with the perangai lecturers here. Some are really baik. But some are just a pain in the ass. I made myself a vow not to be a big headed person yesterday…after seeing how badly you can be treated just because your rank is lower than someone else’s.

We’re all God’s creature. Ape salahnya merendah diri? I know I’m not that baik or something. I’ll only be nasty if the other parties start first. I just felt so damn underestimated. I know my thesis won’t win the noble prize or something, but hey, at least I wrote it MYSELF. Some people just upah somebody to do it. And you proudly puji that person in the class. If only you knew…

Well well well… I’m not gonna waste my jari to taip everything about you here. Next topic plizzz!!!

Starting from tomorrow, we’ll be having study week. For me, it’s 24-hour-internet-plus-books-movies-per-day kind of week. Tomorrow I’m going to the library and gather as much story books as I can (Paling banyak pun nam bijik je.chait!!). Yay! I think I’ll read one of those oldies…maybe Scarlett Letter? Whateva la…as long as bukan science fiction. Hate em. Double yuck.

I’d love to read Tuesdays With Morrie but I’m not sure if the library here has it. I doubt it. Maybe I’ll try to get the whole set of Shopaholics. They have lots of those Malay novel junks but soooooo little English books. And then you guys up there bising2 plak about the level of English of the students. What the heck.

Yesterday I went to Grand Union wit Tushy and bought junk foods. Lots of em. Bekalan to accompany us while watching or reading or doing whateva to finish this two weeks. exam’s due at 28th April. Lambat lagi tu…

Alamak…lapar plak…k la you blog-readers (heh) see ya again. Daaa!

The Monday Morning Blues..

Yep..I know its way too early to be called Monday Morning, but hell yeah...its already 12.00am so I have another 8 hours to go before my first lecture this week.Not exactly lecture, since the lecturer just basically talk and talk and talk and talk...damn it!

Tomorrow's earliest lecture is my minor theatre lecture. Means, no boring books, no writing no nuthing. Just basically sittin' there and wait for the three hours to pass by. Yup! I'm not kidding! Damn 3 long hours.Since this is my final minor year (6th semester is considered minor program's last semester), we are supposed to handle theatre production. The script is already chosen (of which i will never have a part in it because of my size - I curse you all damn tiny waisters!!). And talking about the script, its "Uda dan Dara", a typical malay theatre. We plan to do musical this time, so its gonna be a lot of hard work.

Talking about theatre, I think I have been passionately adoring it ever since I was involved with dramas in my college years in KUSZA. Back then, it wasn't theatre at all, cuz we're more into language and literature. I remember reading a lot of literature stuffs in the small room or "mini library" behind the main office of Language Centre. (I wonder why they can't have it here in UPC). There were no librarian, so it was more like, if you're honest, you'll return the book thingy. But of course, the ever-so-honest Azureus here always, i mean ALWAYS return the books at the end of the semester.haha...

Anyways, last week I went to the Perak Theatre Festival, in which we represent one of the two groups from UPC. Didn't get through even the 3rd place, but it's a good experience, since it was my first time to compete in state level(I was only the backing vocal for the main actress, anyways, nuthing much). What I didn't understand is that the judges didn't vote based on the technical aspects of theatre presentation. I mean, the group that won the title was hopeless in blocking (a technical term in which it refers to the state of the actors which cannot block each other from being visible to the audience, and in turn, making it seems lifeless or as u say it in Malay, "kaku"). The judges, it seems, did not have a favour in the genre purbawara, a classical malay theatre (ala2 Jebat, Hang Tuah and the likes). Ironic, isn't it? Since all the judges are Malays...

Now I'm not provoking Malay theatre activists, it's just that, judging from my experience, I think what my group did was fantastic.Not many theatre activists dare to direct or write something on purbawara, which wasn't favoured by many people because they thought it was all boring and old. Wrong!!! I used to underestimate this kind of theatre, thinking that it's a waste of time with all those pantun and old language and names (females usually get flower names such as kenanga, melati, and etc).But after I join the production, my perception changed. I think if it's done carefully, it can be a way of transferring information on our country's history, especially the pre-war history.

I remember one article written by Johan Jaaffar in NST, who said:
"Perhaps Sandiwara (purbawara) did not enjoy the glamour of Bangsawan, the popularity of the "realist" playwrights, or the attention of the experimental dramatists of the 1970s. But the Sandiwara marked the emergence of the "thinking class" in Malay drama productions".

If it marked the emergence of the "thinking class" of the Malays, shouldn't we just give it more focus? Its not lame at all, if we all could only spend more time analyzing what the story is all about. I'm not in the position to criticize other genre of theatre. In fact, I love them all (especially musical). But sometimes people tend to forget their ancestors, which is sad, and they tend to degrade or even underestimate the earlier genres.

Look at me, I started with my "monday morning blues" and I'm already halfway to be bashed by realism and surrealism activists...I'm not complaining because we didn't win, I'm just basically pouring out what I felt, from what I saw, and what I experienced. I'm never into Malay theatre before, but now you can count me in. And looking at the background (mind you, I'm majoring in English), I think I can put aside my Londonish taste in theatre and join the boat marked "Purbawara", which had been waiting for more passengers.