Gift giving, wishes and many more to do and having less and less time to do them all!

I have been so inspired by this blog, that I have decided to review how I live my daily live, and how with so many changes that time brought about, going back to where I had enjoyed life more than now is going to be a strenuous journey.

First and foremost, I need to reevaluate how I spend my time with my mom. A couple of months before she left for hajj, I bought her a pair of jogging shoes. Then I promised myself that I would spend at least once a week for a walk with her. Never happened. So first thing to do in this thing I dub as "Recovery Journey", is to spend more time with my mother, in the nature doing healthy things instead of only going shopping with her. No.1: Take a walk with my mother.

Another thing that I found I am lacking in is celebration, any kind of celebration. I am terrible not only keeping up with important dates (that's the reason why people often get random gifts from me) but I show less than satisfying enthusiasm when it comes to celebrating it. Once on my birthday I slept all day long. Bad bad vibe for the special day huh?

So this year, in July, I will celebrate my mother's birthday, by baking a cake for her (she likes that lemon yogurt cake with cream cheese frosting) and make an effort to actually capture the moments. I will try to at least print one photo of the birthday, frame it, and hang it somewhere around the house. About my own birthday, Anisa and I have plan for it on June 19th but we're not sure what to do yet. Truth is I hardly have any budget left for anything else than my daily needs. We'll see about that.

So that's the first point. Keywords: mom/jog/birthday/photo

The second point is that I would like to return to my joyful hobby: making gifts or cards on my own instead of buying them. The other day I saw some felt going for cheap at Daiso. I think I'm gonna fast for a few days and see whether I can save money to buy those felting supplies.

I have always been a card-maker. I don't remember buying one for a very long long time. But nowadays I haven't sent any cards to anyone. During exam season, I would take some time to make good-luck cards for my friends. Somehow, that hobby just…dies. I don't remember what happened, but it is kinda sad thinking about it. I will return to my gift giving and card-making state of mind and will refrain myself from buying gifts, simply because I truly believe that a gift made by my own hands would be easier to remember than spending money for things that I can make on my own.

I have several people in my mind that I will prepare the gifts for: a mobile phone case for my mom for her birthday, a red case for Dr Mazura, and several simple mobile phone cases for my nieces & and nephews's birthdays. That's a lot but if I spend an hour a day, I think I can make it. Perhaps I am digressing from my thesis writing but I think this is what I need to do for now.

So point no.2: Keywords: cards/gifts/felt supplies/threads/cases

The third point is of course, to lose weight. I fell down 11 days ago and my both knees are bruised. Now my right knees are numb with occasional lancinating pain. I would probably have to try to walk slowly, but I will figure this out once I return to Terengganu.

Keywords: lose weight/walk

The fourth point is to plan a weekly activity for Ammar, my grandnephew. I truthfully believe that if I follow others and let him have his way all the time, he would grow up to be a spoiled kid. He has a lot of plastic toys, which needs to change. I need to create opportunity for him to unleash his creativity. I bought him many books, but I am never sure if he reads them. I should buy books and keep them at my place instead, and buy some for Amirul Haikal as well (another grandnephew). Maybe I will browse the blog again and find out what kind of activity & colouring things I can use which are safe for a toddler. Kids his age need to be introduced to colouring fun, but I haven't seen him doing that as yet. He's not my kid, but he's a child who is growing in front of me, and what kind of person am I to neglect his needs to be creative, when I have read so many things about instilling creativity in a child?

Keywords: art for toddler

So there are four things to consider. I need to write this down in a card and put it in my wallet so I would remember it. 

1. My mom - birthday and walk
2. Gift and cards - felt supplies, mobile phone cases
3. Weight issues
4. Art for toddler - art supplies for toddler, books to be kept at my place. If I can't afford to buy books, I'll make them.

One day at a time, Zura. One day at  time.

AidilAdha di perantauan

Last night Ehsan texted me and said something that makes me want to strangle him and thank him at the same time. Whichever comes first.

"Hi there! U must be melancholic this raya. Where will you be this Friday anyway? At your brother's house?"

WHAT A QUESTION TO ASK!

Of course I am melancholic! My mom is a thousand kilometres away, this is the first time celebrating Aidil Adha without her. And I am not home! 

Ah…but I'll thank him anyways. For reminding me that I am not THAT melancholic. In fact I am very happy for my mom. Yes, a thousand kilometres away, no phone calls for 5 days beginning 24th April as we would do not want to disturb her during the most crucial days of a pilgrim.

I am gloomy, for sure. But deep inside I know this is what it should be. When she comes back we would all rejoice in the fact that after years and years of waiting, she finally did it!

Her journey to Hajj did not start when she left from Sultan Mahmud Airport to Jeddah. It started when she received the letter from Tabung Haji. It was then when we found out so many things need to be settled. It started a year ago. 

We worked hard. We paid all her loans she accumulated in her years raising us kids as a single mother. In fact, I paid most of it. Miraculously I did not feel any strain..even with my minuscule pay. You see, it was because I had said to myself several times, to my mom too, that "Ya (what my mother calls me) will pay each and every cent of your loan before you left for hajj."

 Every time we found out about a loan, there would be rezeki that literally comes out of nowhere. My brother paid for her Tabung Haji fees. And many many many people who came visiting her beginning from a month before she left up to the night before she board the plane, have given her some money too.

My mom is not rich. True. But that is only in the sense of material wealth. In terms of friends, she is a billionaire. We bought tonnes of food to serve the people visiting her. Teas, cold drinks, curry puffs, buns, you name it. It was not a surprise to see so many people came to see her. Her long lost friends, relatives from as far as Johor Bharu and as adventurous a journey as from Redang Island.

Ok. I had to pause from writing. My mom just called. Miracle isn't it?

---

That was yesterday. It took two days to complete this post because I get gloomier by day. Today I have not managed to call her. Probably because she gets busier by day. Beginning yesterday, pilgrims are to perform jamrah, an act of throwing stones at pillars situated at three different places. The three spots was said to be where Prophet Ibrahim A.S. was confronted by the devils who questioned his act to sacrifice his own son in abiding Allah's words. Later, Gabriel came and told him that he had performed as what Allah said, and to replace the place of his son with a sheep (it is kibas but I am not sure what it is in English).

After she completed her jamrah, she would return to Mecca, and then continue to Madinah for 8 days and insya Allah would fly back to Malaysia on the 22nd November.

I CAN'T WAIT.

Of Jabal Rahmah

My mom made it to Mekah this year. Finally. After years of only dreaming and at one point giving up due to financial strain, she is finally realizing her dreams.

She left on the 9th of October, and is expected to arrive here in Malaysia on the 23rd of November, a date I circled so many times that it fades on my calendar.

I call her everyday, though a bit expensive it doesn't matter. I just want to know what she does everyday. Sometimes I cried after calling her, after trying my very best not to let her know the tears are welling up from the inside. I miss her, of course, but listening to her everyday adventures, about her prayers in front of Kaabah for me to finish my Masters a.s.a.p, her wish in front of Jabal Rahmah for me to have "a rich husband, one whom our family knows about", it kind of makes me want to book the next flight to Saudi Arabia.

But mostly I cried because she left at the time when my financial state is not strong enough to even give her a few hundreds for her to spend. True, I did pay the Housing Ministry to make sure my mother no longer owe them any money, and few other spendings that I feel should not be informed here, but I really wish I could hand her some money on the day she left. She said it's fine, that I have helped her enough to make this journey, but I kinda feel disappointed.

But not for long I guess. Due to my lack of knowledge about Malaysian Hajj experience, I wasn't aware that we can send money to family members who are performing haj. In fact, it is so easy that all I need is her Tabung Haji account number. Bank it in Malaysia, they'll see it in their TH account in Saudi Arabia. Phew! Once I received some delayed payments I'm gonna make sure I bank in the money, call her and say my favorite phrase "Mom, just buy whatever you want!"

Despite me being insistent and telling her that I do not mind I don't get anything from Mekah, and all I want is that for her to come back safe and sound, my mom would tell me in our everyday conversation "I bought you a jubah...lawa! You'll like it!"

We wish you a safe journey home, Mok.