Candidature Defense

Alhamdulillah...I passed.

Best of all, the promise that Allah has made to his vicegerents, that He would help those who make an effort, was truly glorified on that day. I was given the most helpful people as my examiners. They commented on things I overlooked, gave me some wonderful ideas on how to make my dissertation better for the people in the fields of Corpus Linguistics and Conceptual Metaphor Theory, and mostly, I did not have to go through the bad experience as some people had during candidature defense.

Right now I am working on my dissertation, amending everything that needs amendment. Once Dr S is satisfied with my writing, then only would I be able to submit.

And then wait.

And do correction (maybe not? InsyaAllah).

And then wait.

And then...

Gift giving, wishes and many more to do and having less and less time to do them all!

I have been so inspired by this blog, that I have decided to review how I live my daily live, and how with so many changes that time brought about, going back to where I had enjoyed life more than now is going to be a strenuous journey.

First and foremost, I need to reevaluate how I spend my time with my mom. A couple of months before she left for hajj, I bought her a pair of jogging shoes. Then I promised myself that I would spend at least once a week for a walk with her. Never happened. So first thing to do in this thing I dub as "Recovery Journey", is to spend more time with my mother, in the nature doing healthy things instead of only going shopping with her. No.1: Take a walk with my mother.

Another thing that I found I am lacking in is celebration, any kind of celebration. I am terrible not only keeping up with important dates (that's the reason why people often get random gifts from me) but I show less than satisfying enthusiasm when it comes to celebrating it. Once on my birthday I slept all day long. Bad bad vibe for the special day huh?

So this year, in July, I will celebrate my mother's birthday, by baking a cake for her (she likes that lemon yogurt cake with cream cheese frosting) and make an effort to actually capture the moments. I will try to at least print one photo of the birthday, frame it, and hang it somewhere around the house. About my own birthday, Anisa and I have plan for it on June 19th but we're not sure what to do yet. Truth is I hardly have any budget left for anything else than my daily needs. We'll see about that.

So that's the first point. Keywords: mom/jog/birthday/photo

The second point is that I would like to return to my joyful hobby: making gifts or cards on my own instead of buying them. The other day I saw some felt going for cheap at Daiso. I think I'm gonna fast for a few days and see whether I can save money to buy those felting supplies.

I have always been a card-maker. I don't remember buying one for a very long long time. But nowadays I haven't sent any cards to anyone. During exam season, I would take some time to make good-luck cards for my friends. Somehow, that hobby just…dies. I don't remember what happened, but it is kinda sad thinking about it. I will return to my gift giving and card-making state of mind and will refrain myself from buying gifts, simply because I truly believe that a gift made by my own hands would be easier to remember than spending money for things that I can make on my own.

I have several people in my mind that I will prepare the gifts for: a mobile phone case for my mom for her birthday, a red case for Dr Mazura, and several simple mobile phone cases for my nieces & and nephews's birthdays. That's a lot but if I spend an hour a day, I think I can make it. Perhaps I am digressing from my thesis writing but I think this is what I need to do for now.

So point no.2: Keywords: cards/gifts/felt supplies/threads/cases

The third point is of course, to lose weight. I fell down 11 days ago and my both knees are bruised. Now my right knees are numb with occasional lancinating pain. I would probably have to try to walk slowly, but I will figure this out once I return to Terengganu.

Keywords: lose weight/walk

The fourth point is to plan a weekly activity for Ammar, my grandnephew. I truthfully believe that if I follow others and let him have his way all the time, he would grow up to be a spoiled kid. He has a lot of plastic toys, which needs to change. I need to create opportunity for him to unleash his creativity. I bought him many books, but I am never sure if he reads them. I should buy books and keep them at my place instead, and buy some for Amirul Haikal as well (another grandnephew). Maybe I will browse the blog again and find out what kind of activity & colouring things I can use which are safe for a toddler. Kids his age need to be introduced to colouring fun, but I haven't seen him doing that as yet. He's not my kid, but he's a child who is growing in front of me, and what kind of person am I to neglect his needs to be creative, when I have read so many things about instilling creativity in a child?

Keywords: art for toddler

So there are four things to consider. I need to write this down in a card and put it in my wallet so I would remember it. 

1. My mom - birthday and walk
2. Gift and cards - felt supplies, mobile phone cases
3. Weight issues
4. Art for toddler - art supplies for toddler, books to be kept at my place. If I can't afford to buy books, I'll make them.

One day at a time, Zura. One day at  time.

Eid Mubarak

Salam Aidilfitri saya tujukan kepada semua yang membaca.

Maaf dipinta andai terkasar bahasa

Terlempang terkutuk termengata

Maaf juga kiranya saya ada ter"emo", ter"menyinga" atau ter"ape-ape je la"

Semoga Aildilfitri ini membawa seribu rahmat kepada kita semua.Amin

Waacky Birthday Gal

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WACKY GURL. you can read her blog here.

aunty wish you all the happiness and wackiness in the world.

hope you have a wonderful array of boyfriends...

hahahahaha...



if only the guys that i like are not liar, double-sided, muka kuali and, well..liar..

meanwhile...get the book.

awesome!

i'm juggling between "the kite runner" and "i'm in no mood for love"

pretty exhausted trying to read two books at once...

but hey...life's a bed of books..

so read and be-read!!!

My Mother

I just got back from meeting Dr S. Today, Tushy, Dr S and I went to surau Taman Segar to have our Maghrib prayer, Yasin reading and Isyak prayer there. Dr S ordered nasi lemak and mineral water for the residents of Taman Segar who went there to perform their solat. It is quite heart-wrenching to see Dr S sobbing when reading the Yasin which was addressed for her mother whom we pray to be in better place right beside HIM right now *insya-Allah*.

Hearing the news about someone losing their loved ones especially their mother always made me shiver with fear. I pray to HIM everyday to grant my mother with long life, so that I will have a chance to pay her in whatever way I could for all the things that she sacrificed for me.

Dr S almost always remind me to let my mum knows how much I love her. She always tells her mother that. I don’t understand how people can treat their mother badly. Did they not think of the two hands that feed them, wash them and even work hard for them so they can live easily?

My mother had sacrificed more that she should in order to see me achieve my first degree. No, let me rephrase that. She fought for a better live for me and my siblings ever since we were all born! I cannot imagine living even for only a day without her. Thus, seeing Dr S weeping at the very thought of her now-gone-forever mother, I can’t help it but to take the mobile phone and call and ask her whether she’s ok.

It’s true that we all tend to take things for granted. For instance, I always felt bored at home when I went back for holidays. I felt like my life in my hometown is a boring life. However, when I went to university, I started to feel uneasy over the thought of leaving my mum all alone in the house. After seeing how painful it is for Dr S to accept the loss, I made a promise to myself to always make an effort to let my mum know that I love her and she is the most important person to me in this whole wide world.

I live for my mum. I tried to get the best result every semester so that my mum would feel at ease and not terrible after all the things she did for me. Some people don’t understand the way I behave, but try to dwell on this thought. “Mum has been taking care of me for 25 years. Why shouldn’t I devote myself to my mother for at least 25 years too?” It’s as simple as that.

We live only once. In each of my prayer I would ask from HIM to fulfill my do’a to let me repay my mum. I asked him to grant her happiness, health and more years to live so that I can see her live more comfortably.

To my mother, (I know she won’t be reading this. She’d faint seeing all those swear words!!!) I wish you know how much I love you and how I wanted so much to work as fast as I can after I graduated so that we both can lead a better live. Amin.

Lunatics District

These last few weeks has seen me trying to survive the theatre production team..whats with the different opinions, the "sentap" malady, and the budget shortage. I felt like repeating the paper next semester, but I have no choice but to endure the pain of working with the people who think they're way better than me. Anyways, I have chosen this path, so come what may, I'll stick to it and NO REGRETS.

Nevertheless, some interesting things happen during our practice...which includes;

Somebody hit the set and we could hear chatters of "Whats happening??" "Oi..angkat balik!!!" and "We are so dead". I want to laugh but thinking that my lecturer is sitting in front of the stage, I keep it till he very last moment.

Me being a Nenek Tua because I have no choice at all. My lecturer asked me to help the other group in my class to lit up the candle during the performance. The first rehearsal, I burnt my finger. The second rehearsal was good, but the third rehearsal, the lighter was almost out of gas, so a friend who sat at the front row had to lit up the candle for me. Damn!

Protocol manager? Duh!!! Yes, I am grateful for not having to act or dance on the stage for this show. I'm through with having to take off my tudung for something like theatre. I'm not that religious, but I'd rather keep my head covered, thank you.

HE appeared out of nowhere. Farid first told me that HE was at the other end of the hall, and it's been a while ever since my heart beat that fast. The Diane called me and said "Zura ko tau tak sapa yg ada kat dalam panggung??" I said "Yes, I do". Not even a minute after that, Tasha looked at me with that "Look-at-the-other-side-of-the-panggung-and-you'll-find-heaven" look, hahahahaha...nevermind. Not that I would do anything about it. All I could do now is to enjoy what I saw... *SIGH*

Nevertheless, the show is tomorrow night, and I have been praying to Allah that nothing will be wrong, and to give us patience to work with each other and to face all the difficulties. Insha-Allah.

Folks, come over to our show. Its totally FREE!!!

Cry Baby

I can't help it. I juz re-watched Ever After (the one that starred Drew Barrymore and a cute guy whose name I'm not sure of), and I cried. I watched Waris Jari Hantu, I cried (esp when Arina returns from Singapore and tell Tina..."Tina..its Arina, not Ari...[duh!]) I even cried watching a korean video entitled K.I.S.S. - the one with the guy who went blind after donating his eyes to a girl who he loved (I'm sure u guys cried too after watching this video, or is it just me???).Anyways, no matter what movies or videos (or even ads, mind you.Which ad? Go figure!) I always felt like an urge to cry, just because I want to, not because I'm manja or something (I'm the youngest - not that it'll help).

Its hard to not to feel overjoyed when I see someone or a couple finally gets together after going through punishments and ups and downs of their forbidden love.I mean, yeah I wish I was there sometimes, but I have my own life which was quite something, too.
But sometimes, I wish I am Gwen Ste-Oh-So-Cool-Fani and drive around in Cadillac convertible (or whateva car she drives in her "Hollaback" video). And have all those bling-a-bling around my neck and not to worry about loan! (Arg...)

ERgh...dreams are just dreams.But I'll make it someday.I'll not stop chasing after my dreams, even though its too far away I can't even see where I'm going.

Now why don't you guys stop reading this and pray that I'll be whatever I wanna be someday?
Hehe.

Till nex time, daaaa...

Alimmah's Birthday - Kids Say the Darndest Things...

28th July is my second brother's daughter's birthday, and she turns 5 years old that day. And so her nice aunt called her to wish happy birthday.This is the record of the conversation:

Toot toot...
SIL:Sister-in-law
AM:Alimmah Majdina
NA:Nice Aunt (me :P~)


SIL: Hello?
NA: Hello Kak Beth, Alimmah mane?
SIL: Ade ni ha, (shouting) Alimmah! Mak Teh nak cakap Happy Birthday ni..!

Wait...wait...wait...
After one minute...

SIL: Die taknak cakap la Zura, abah die kasik basikal baru.Taknak turun langsung.
NA: Alahai...panggil la kejap?
SIL: Alimmah mari sini la...

Screech..screech..another 30 seconds...

AM: Taknak!Taknak! (shouting at the back)
NA: Letak je hp tu kat telinga dia.
SIL: Ok ok
NA: Alimmah, Mak Teh ni
AM: Hihihi...
(Screech screech...the sound of her grabbing at her hear to avoid her mother from forcing her to hear me)
NA: Alimmah, Happy Birthday...abah kasik ape?
AM: Basikal (giggle giggle)
NA: Ohh...cantik tak basikal?
AM: Cantikla... (giggle giggle)
NA: Alimmah nak hadiah ape?
AM: Nak selipar!!!
NA: Ha? Selipar? (There goes my RM20)
AM: Ye la Mak Teh..aperdaaaa.. (???)
NA: Ha...yela...nanti Mak Teh pegi umah Alimmah Mak Teh beli.
AM: (Giggle giggle)
NA: Alimmah, kasi telefon kat ibu
AM: (Giggle giggle)
NA: Alimmah!
AM: Hihihihi (More giggle) Thump!
SIL: Ko dengar tak anak sedare ko lepas telefon aku macam tu je
NA: Dengar...okeyla..kirim salam kat Abang Mi.Assalamualaikum.

Seriously, since when does wishing happy birthday became so difficult?
Anyways, Happy 5th Birthday, Alimmah Majdina.

Hugs and Kisses,

Nice Aunt.

:P~~~~

Of life and death

These few recent years have seen me battling with life and death. When I was in my first year in university, my grandfather passed away.It's so depriving because in my whole life, I have known him as my grandad and also my father as well.Then in the middle of the third semester, my father passed away. It wasn't as painful as the loss of my grandad ( I call him "bak" or in english, "buck").

Bak had been living with me and my mum for as long as I can remember. He was a typical Malay old man, with his kopiah and batek shirt, and also kain pelikat.I was very fond of him when I was a little girl, since I'm the youngest daughter of his youngest daughter.

I remember him paying my pre-university fees.I remember him giving me money all the time since my mum couldnt really afford my study.I miss him a lot, now that he's gone.Because he's the only man that I know in my family.Its bad enough that he went so early and I didnt even get the chance to repay him.

I wish he was here to see me in my convocation robe.
I wish he was here so i can tell him how much i love him.

A new blog, a new beginning!

Its been a long time since I wanted a blog in blogspot, so here i am!
Enjoy reading (or not!).