New Life, New Perks, New Problem

dear myself,

what do you expect, zura? new life means no challenges? no problems? of course there are. problems are opportunities, sweetheart. they open up new excitement. they make you more aware of how you live your life so you'll be better each day. problems are gold mine! you just have to face everything head on, not run away like you used to do. never run away from problem. they'll catch you up someday and boy, that day won't be your best day.trust me.

so now you're being chased by your past nightmares. what are we going to do? keep running? one day you'll be xhausted running.STOP.RUNNING.NOW. start taking a close look at your life. you decide your OWN life, not the other way. nobody can change your future lest you take it in your hand and mould it with your own desire and need.

its is OK if someone receive something better than you.it is also OK when that happens even though you know you deserve better.wait, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU DESERVE because only GOD knows whats the best for you. so stop thinking of the "what ifs" and "what's not fair" and all.nothing in this world is given to those who don't deserve it...because the final judgment is not in this world.

therefore, from now on, start thinking what HE gave YOU and not what HE gave other people.and think of what YOU CAN GIVE TO OTHERS.because when you receive rezeki from Allah, it is meant to not only you.you are bestowed with knowledge so do your best in spreading it.

if you don't do your best, nothing will work.REMEMBER that.

love,

myself.

what? you guys never do this to yourself?hypocrites la you all.heh.

of men.

hye.

long time no see.

today i have a poem which migh possibly turn me into an 80-year old virgin.

here it is!

men oh men

why do you act like an ogre

when you have a wife with hourglass figure

even though your face is like a rotten burger

and when you speak i feel like i want to vomit eggar

men oh men

does it entertain you so much

to see a young girl shiver in rush

every words you say tend to crush

and then you blame us for being harsh

and in the toilet you should really be flushed!

men oh men

out of this place i hope you fell

for all the sins you've committed well

for the only place for you is in cell

or better yet than that is hell

Happy Times

Last Saturday I had a BBQ party with my students from CS (Comp. Sci.). I had a good time being with the students, reminiscing my own past times as a student back in college. I miss my life in college, really.

I told my students to come to my office to have the BBQ instead of a park in their resident college. I didn't expect the little corner that we have in front of the office would be such a perfect place! It was cloudy but not stuffy, and I have to say, this is the first time for me to have such a good time with students (apart form the Drama Nite) since I became a lecturer.

The KEMBARA boys (Salam, Arief, Nasir, Syafiq and Syed) started the fire for BBQ loooong after we arrived. hahaha...sorry guys, but it's a fact! But we had my mother's Bihun Goreng first while waiting for the Chicken Wing. It was fabulous!

To all my students in CSD2KC:

MekLa
Azie
Pah
Salam
Najmi
Ada Kecik
Ada Tinggi
Echah
Arief
Syafiq
Farhana
Syed
Nasir
Yura
Izza
Achik
Nazrul
Che

I love you all...Good Luck!!!

Ain't over till the fat lady sings

Crrrrazzzyyyyy week!!!

SundaY
Preparing like crazy for the interview.
I attend this interview to get a raise of about RM700 from what I previously earn.
Go do practice with the person who are going to observe me doing mock teaching interview the next day.
Crazy or what?

MondaY
Wake up really early.
My name was third in the list,but when I arrived, not a single soul was there.
So much for starting at 8!!!
Waiting...waiting...waiting...
So, the Timbalan sumthing called and asked the interview to be done at 9.30.

WTF??

TodaY
Watch Korean drama and movies all day in my office.
As a revenge!
Wait, let me rephrase that, not all day, just in the morning.
I had a few students came for the extra lesson that I promised them, and also for their carried marks.

I'm having fun with work.
Something that I never expected to happen.

Also...
I guess I should give my heart another chance to be nurtured.

Oh, and that incidence with Mr Chokie-Chokie.
Stood behind me when I was about to go to my office and scared the hell out of me. Wacchaa!!! Nasib baik tak pengsan (he's not that cute.haha)

Whatever la.

Dear HEART,
Can you please stop falling for somebody who's so freakin' unreachable???

Sakit

berulang pegi toilet: rasanya dah seratus kali.

sejam = sepuluh kali.

bermula = sebelas malam semalam.

sehingga sekarang = tak berhenti, tapi dah kurang.

jumlah Oralites yang diminum = 2 peket.

jumlah Charcoal = 2 bijik.

jumlah teh keras = secawan, pahit nak mampus.

jumlah page yang berjaya di'translate' = almost six.

pening kepala = countless.

ah...i want yesterday! yesterday when i was feeling on top of the world.

now kena kensel latihan bola jaring HEA. sorry kak zam!

urgh..damn dining hall. kalau mcm ginila gayanya korang bagi makan kat budak2 U**M, memang sahla rosak kaum aku.

haram betul.i hope your cafe exploded one day, so that no other human would sakit perut like i'm having right now.

damn.

Kalam Allah.

Orang kata, kalau benda dah nak jadi, jadila.
Whatever will be, will be.

Today, out of the blue, my mum came to Dungun.

"Mok nok kelloh* nge mung la nih, bawok lauk sutong goreng pedas. Ya* gi la beli nasik." she said over the phone. (Kelloh = berkelah/picnic, Ya = nama manja, only closest family address me with that nickname)

Mak oh mak. I've just finished marking 3 out of 75 of my students' essays.

"Marilah. (Come-lah!)" Ape lagi nak cakap? She didn't come here for nothing anyways, she drove an hour and a half just to deliver me a letter from ITNMB.

Few weeks ago I sent an application to Institut Terjemahan Negara Malaysia Berhad for a translation project. After an email confirming my application, a bulk of letter came containing a letter (duh~~) and a six-page English text, waiting to be translated into Malay. A Test. Interesting.

Today, mother opened the letter on my behalf and called me, along with that message about picnic with her youngest daughter. (I never really agreed on this you're-not-home-so-I-open-your-letter-thing but what the heck. As long as it's not from a vampire or something. Must be written in blood eh?)

I.Am.Excited.

I don't know why or how did translation becomes a passion, but it does work to relieve some tension, plus that extra money for occasional trips to shopping mall!

So here I am, trying to perah this rusted brain for some ideas on putting forward the language skill that I have. (Read: SKILL~~)

Mak oh Mak. What would I do without you? An hour and a half drive from KT to Dungun for a job that I might (or might not) have?

When I was just a little girl,
I asked my mother what would I be,
Will I be pretty, will I be rich,
That's what she said to me.

Que sera sera,
Whatever will be, will be,
The future's not ours to see,
Que sera sera,
What will be, will be.

cermin.

5.45 am
woke up, look at the mirror and asked myself this question:
is this really me i'm seeing?
where has that old spiritful me gone to?
comb my hair and sigh *its long now, long enough to tie in a bun*
showered, get dressed, and go to work

7.00 am
yeah, that's how early i get to work today
just to help a friend who's going to be evaluated by her senior
why evaluate when we know she's good at what she does???

8.00am
get to class.my students are all in a bad mood today.lost in a drama competition
its ok, darlings. its our first.everything has to go through that "first time" thing
no sweat.

10.00am
go to kfc.dam stupid manager wont let us in even though its 5 minutes to 10.30. neva mind
"lets go to pizza hut" said a friend
oh rite, PH opened at 11am
sat in the car and wait

now.1.35pm
hanging around at her house
no, we're not skipping work
no more class today
just taking a bit of rest from an unrestful weekend

and still can't get my mind off HIM.