Teman Tapi Mesra - platonics that doesn't cut it.

I have a friend.
(Lepas tulis satu perenggan dalam Bahasa Melayu, tukar channel. It's just...well..I don't sound serious when I speak Malay--ada ke?)

Ok ok let's get back to business.

I have a friend. I've known him for quite some time, and the extend of friendship? Let's just say that he knows more than what a normal guy friend should know about me. And I also know certain things about him that I'm sure he doesn't make public.

And in my difficult moments in life, he was always there. He's always just a phone call away. But that's it. So we are pretty close. And we have certain similar favorite pastimes so we click. I don't see that as a problem. He didn't too.

But others don't.

Others think that I should chase him, show him I like him, upgrade my appearance to make him fall for me, tell him things that make him want me more more and more!

I'm disgusted.

We're all used to being fed with fictions of a girl and a guy getting closed together, swearing not to fall in love and the next thing you know, BANG! They either fucked or they got together in a halal way (get married).

Don't believe me? How many movies below have you watched, and how many of those movies that makes you think "I should probably try to make my relationship with this guy to be more than friendship, you know, cuz according to THAT movie, if you don't tell him/her now, you'll never know what will happen".

1. When Harry met Sally (classic example of why girls and guys can't just be friends)
2. Made of Honour (who in this world would just wants to be friends with Patrick Dempsey??)
3. Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (another classic example.haven't we learn enough?)
4. No Strings Attached (latest addition)

The question is, why waste your friendship? I'm speaking from my honest experience, that from my own observation, not all guys want more in a relationship, and not all girls would want to date a guy whom she confessed all her darkest secrets to.

Sure, there was a time when I thought that, hey, we've been far enough, why not take it up to another notch? But I was wrong! It not only killed my chance but I lost a friend. Well, considering the fact that I still blame him for it, it's not much of a loss, but still, it could have been the other way around. Yes, that other way around where I don't have to end up like an idiot after being rejected.

Oh the shame!-pun intended. So he doesn't like me, so what? You can't expect me to weep every time someone mentions his name? Tak cool lah macam tu!

I'm tired of this notion, that men and women can't be just friends. You can be, but you have to control yourself from being emotionally dependent on your guy-friend. If you want to stop hearing wedding bells every time you receive text message from him, by all means, please find something else to do!

At this age, I no longer look at guys that I go out with, with puppy eyes like I used to. That age where I look around and everyone's married, yeah, THAT age. I'm waayyyyy over it. Treasure what you have now. When you find love, you'll know it.

And yes, I do tell myself that I would love to have a guy who is crazy about me, not someone who doesn't reply my message and ignore my calls. My guy-friend did that. Didn't bother me, because I stop putting hopes on him. I admit, at one point I did succumb to the lures of those movies I mentioned before, but after sometime, I kinda get it. I like what we have now, and thus I save myself from the shame of liking someone who doesn't really like you more than a friend.

So the next time I want to find myself a lover, I'll make sure he treat me like a lover not a girl-friend. And thus, I wouldn't scare myself silly for putting too much hope on a guy who's only meeting me once a month for a movie-day-out.

Now who wants R-Patzz as a guy-friend? Certainly not me!