Chop the chicken, chop the jerk

I just came back from Dungun, visiting my eldest sister from my father’s side. She’s the first and only child of my father’s first wife. I’m the only child of my father’s last wife. We kinda had the same history of surviving so in the end when my father passed away, she’s the only sister from my father’s side that I talk to. She has a cool family. So last Tuesday I went for a visit since almost all her kid is home for the school holiday (the eldest came back last night).

It was a nice visit. My sister cooked chicken chop and it tasted amazing! I think by now I can declare that she can cook anything on earth. And then we (Ira and Angah) played around with the laptop camera (of course I can’t put any pictures here!). For the past 3 nights we had watched the Japanese series “Nodame Cantabile”. Ariff couldn’t stop imitating Strezemann. I also watched “Tada Kimi Wo Aishiteru” which means “I love only you” (Thanks Angah for the movie!). It was a sad story, really, to lose someone whom you love when you didn’t get the chance to say you love him. Actually, the chance was there spread in front of us like a vast green field but we just missed the beautiful field and we focus on the lonely tree at the end of the field instead.

On my way back from Dungun, I met someone from my past that I didn’t want to see ever. I got into the bus, searched for the seat and there he was. I should have jumped out of the bus and never looked back. Instead, I said “hi” to the jerk him and sat next to him. Let’s just say that his name start with an “S”. No, it’s not “Stupid bin something” or “Super Jerk bin something”, although I wish it was. It’s just “S” (ASShole?). God knows how stupid I felt just after a few seconds of committing the stupid act. The Jerk He, on the other hand, keeps on commenting on how long it has been since we last met, talked on the phone or sms to each other. What am I, a doormat?

The Jerk He kept yapping as if there were no other people in the bus. When finally I get the chance to answer his interview questions, I called him with someone else’s name (God I really don’t know how the other name came out of my mouth!). He was surprised and said “Lama kita tak jumpa awak dah lupa nama saya?” Man, I can never forget that stupid expression on his face!

I thanked god for that slip-of-the tongue! Meanwhile, he kept firing me with lame questions such as “Awak dah habis belajar?” which I answered with “Entah. Ye kot.” followed by “Awak sihat?” and returned with “Awak nampak saya sihat tak?”, “Awak marah lagi ke kat saya pasal dulu2 tu?” was answered with “Kita ada apa-apa ke dulu?”

The phone rang and it was my mom calling me to ask where I was so she can pick me up. Just as I hang up the phone, the muka-tak-malu jerk said “Mak awak nak datang ke? Baguslah! Boleh saya tumpang awak balik rumah. Lagipun hujan ni. Awak tak kesian kat saya ke?” DUH!!!!!!!!

I told him that my mother and I are going to other places and we’re not going straight home. He didn’t believe that and accused me of not being kesian to him. God why did I ever dated such a jerk!!!

Eventually I got fed-up and an evil plan started to form in my angelic mind.

I was actually sms-ing with someone before I got into the bus. So I decided to sms him this:-

“Can you call me and act as my boyfriend? I just bumped into my ex. Damn!” or something like it.

After some time, I thought he won’t call and I gave up because he told me he was at the game arcade and I figured that maybe the place is noisy and he couldn’t hear his phone ringing. Suddenly, the phone rang. It was him! I let the phone rang for a while, pretending to look at the caller and putting the phone on my lap so the jerk he could see who was calling me. I smiled sweetly as I picked up the phone.

For the whole time of my so-called “boyfriend” called me, I noticed the jerk he can’t sit still. Meanwhile, I enjoyed myself talking to the person on the other end of the line, pretending to be lovey-dovey, when in fact he was laughing and said to me what a reunion I had! Wait till I see you again! But I was, am still and will always be very much thankful for that someone who called me.

After about half an hour, I asked the guy to hang up. Suddenly the jerk he asked me whether he can come to my house tomorrow (which is today) to hang around. Hang around? My boiling point right then has reached to the one-more-word-from-you-and-I’ll-turn-into-hulk level! I told him it’s impossible as I am not comfortable of bringing a guy to my house. He kept pressing me (lucky I didn’t have my bazooka with me) and just to shut him up, I said I would rather go out with my friends than inviting them to my house (which is totally untrue cuz I really like people coming to my house as much as I like going out. So to my friends, don’t worry OK?).

He said, “Bagus lah tu! Boleh kite pegi pasar malam besok! (Oh, that’s fine! We can go to night market tomorrow!)” with such an enthusiasm that I wish the bus window can be opened so I can tonyoh his head out of the bus. I said, “S, saya rasa awak ni tak paham kot yang kita dah lama tak jumpa dan kita memang tak patut jumpa pun? (S, don’t you think we should let the past alone?)”

His face turned sour and despite that, he said that I’m sombong and I don’t want to forget the past. I just felt so fed-up and I decided to turn my mp3 to the volume limit while cursing the sappy songs blaring from bus speaker. Finally, I had my peace. I never looked at his face and when I did, I saw him looking out of the window, probably thinking whether I will pujuk him or something. Sorry jerk, I am not that cheap lollipop which you can suck the sweetness and throw it afterwards. Instead, I am that really expensive dark chocolate which you would always remember the taste because I am precious and rare.

And despite all that experience, I am still shaking. Because I didn’t expect it to turn as sour as this.

I’m not sad, no, please don’t think like that. I’m just amazed at how blunt he was and how brave (I meant it in a nasty, dirty way. Not like Braveheart or something) he was to have asked me to go out with him. I mean, that easy? Gosh didn’t he learn something from the past?

Which I did.

I did learn that I should love someone who would love me without asking me to be “the other girl” just because he can’t settle his other relationship problem.

I should love someone who would return my love as much or more than what I gave him. I should love someone who would love me back.

I should love myself too.

I guess I wasn’t really letting go. Not the love, but the bitterness, the hatred, the pain of losing someone whom you have liked for like for such a long time.

I guess I didn’t really like him then. Maybe I was just infatuated, smitten with his innocent looks.

Whatever it is, I thanked God for all this experience. I mean, seriously, when was the last time you get the chance to nail your ex in his face?