The End

I'll be away

I don't think I can take  this anymore.

I'll just be away.


NO IT'S NOT YOU STUPID DEMOTIVATOR THING CALLED MONEY.

Things will get better if I hold on.

I made soup!

I made carrot soup today!

It's not my first time cooking soup (hell no), but it is my first attempt trying my hands at making soups that freeze well. When I go to write in campus nowadays, I don't even bother to leave the building until 6 pm, so it's good to have warm food in the office. Tomorrow I'm dropping by Ziq Bakery to pick up some garlic bread or french baguette.

It's my first in many more to come, and I'm glad I did. Here is the recipe:

1 tbsp oil
One yellow onion, diced
One celery stalk, diced
400ml water
4 large carrots, diced
One tomato, diced
1 tsp Pasti Sedap
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp crushed black pepper

1. Heat the pan, saute the onion and celery.
2. Add the water, carrot, tomato, pasti sedap, salt and pepper.
3. Cook for 20 minutes. Turn of the heat. Cool for 15 mins.
4. Blitz in blender for a while, about 1-2 minutes. Makes 4-5 portions.

Next time I make soup I'll include the budget as well. I didn't buy the ingredients and my mom hardly keep the receipts so next time I'll make sure I have the calculation.

Sometimes a warm cup of soup is all I need to keep up with the writing. I honestly didn't know it would take this long to write the dissertation. Why in the world would they need 40,000 words? That's 160 pages!!

Throw a slice of cheddar on the hot soup. Would probably not do it again.

Once I'm done with my Masters, I would work for a year or two, and then pick up my bag and leave.

I can't wait.

Lonely

Isn't this world a lonely one?
When you have no wealth

No inheritance from a rich father
No trusted brother to keep you from harm

No partner, no children
No car, no house
No proportionate figure
No person to confide
And not one person whom you can trust

Isn't this world an unbearable one?
When you have debts
House debts, study debts
Credit card debts

I took the wrong step
I give in to other people's wishes
And my mistakenly lead instinct
But that would be the last wrong step
I would ever take.

p/s: if you steal my poem, I might not know but my God does. And if you're agnostic, my God would still know.

Poem #10

That's it. I'm running out of poems. So have to be back writing normal things after this. This is my 10th and my last from the old poem folder in my laptop.

There's a title for this poem but it seems unsuitable. So I'll leave it title-less for now.


finding love
it isn't easy
but when fate calls my name,
I'm going to give it a go

why did I let myself
to fall in love with you?
why didn't I stop
before I hurt myself

I've been living a lonely life
if I tell you it has been an easy ride
then I'll be lying

tell me you'll stay
tell me you'll be mine

p/s: if you steal my poem, I might not know but my God does. And if you're agnostic, my God would still know.

Poem #9

I wrote this poem for my close friend, Anie. We met when we were in secondary school but we got close only when we were in Form 4 (16 years old). Anie was sort of my private counselor at that time, and a lot of people wondered what was it that kept me smiling all the time, when Anie was the only one who knows that I am that kind of girl who kept everything bottled up.

Nowadays we don't talk that much anymore. The last time I met Anie was during my birthday party last year. She had a sleepover at my place. I really miss her, but things are bound to change when we grow up. I have always wished for certain things to remain the same, but that was only a wishful thinking.

I gave her this poem during one of her birthdays, probably when I was in UPSI.

--Best of friends--

called up at 3am

and there you were 

there you were

listened to all of my craps

and here we go

here we go 

again

sat beside me everytime

I'm troubled, troubled

all I have to do is sit

and say nothing, owh nothing at all

magically my problems disappear

to a certain place

well, you don't wanna be there

cause you are

the best of friends

and we are

living at the edge

of broken hearts

and I wanna

thank you for ur time

and your piece of mind

wish you well

the best of friends

best of friends

It sounds a lot like song lyrics, eh? Maybe I should compose a melody for it.

p/s: if you steal my poem, I might not know but my God does. And if you're agnostic, my God would still know.

Poem #7 and #8

Here's a short poem for today:


life is all but a dream
truth is nothing but life
in all of the obstacles in a stream
there's one that leads you to be alive

peace is all but myth
lie is nothing but creation
for all the truth that lies beneath
there's one lie that hides perfection

No title. Must be an unfinished poem.

And here's a Malay poem. I don't normally write in Malay but I suppose there must be a reason why I wrote it at that time. This poem was pinned on my inspiration board when I was in UPSI.


manifestasi hati

hujan
kau limpahkan 
segala rembesan
biar hilang keresahan
biar datang ketenangan

angin
kau tiupkan bayu dingin
agar tumbang pokok beringin
biar hilang rasa teringin

ombak
jangan kau rombak
pasir yang indah itu
biar kekal begitu
agar aku tidak berubah
biar sampai hilang arah

p/s: if you steal my poem, I might not know but my God does. And if you're agnostic, my God would still know.

Poem #6

|IDLE|LAME|FUNKY|ONE|

I could have been at home

Sitting cozily on my couch

But I’m here with you

I could have flown to Japan

And watch Michael Jackson live

In concert, but I’m watching lame

‘Sabrina the Teenage Witch’ with you

I could have been out to dinner

With John the macho guy, but

I’m here trying myself to cook

Dinner for you…

I could have been sleeping

Now in my big bunk bed

But I’m now sitting on the

Couch with you, just to

Talk about ‘he-made-everything-up

-Drew-Carey’… lastly, I could have

Wrote great novel and sold nine million

But here I am, writing a lazy poem

For you, just for you

Because I love only you…

p/s: if you steal my poem, I might not know but my God does. And if you're agnostic, my God would still know.

Poem #5

Being Me ^_^

Being me,

Is the best thing,

That happened to me,

In my life.

Being me

Means being no one else,

but me.

Being me,

Is not always fun,

But can it be fun,

By being someone else?

No!

‘Cos being me,

Is the best!

p/s: if you steal my poem, I might not know but my God does. And if you're agnostic, my God would still know.