Poem #4

Forgive me for the multiple posts today but I have a feeling I'm going to be crazy busy from 1st Feb to 15th as I promised Dr S to submit 3 chapters by mid Feb. Here's the sonnet I wrote for Literature course. We had to write a Shakespearean sonnet and do an analysis. I put the analysis as well. 

Our lecturer was Mr Lajiman Janoory. Although he is not that chatty, he's very inquisitive, as every time we did presentation, he would listen attentively. I suppose we could expect that from a lecturer specializing in literary analysis. The last I heard about him was that he went abroad to do his PhD. Good for him. Any student would appreciate a lecturer who listens to his students.

A QUEST FOR YOU

I hate it when you walk passed me and ignore me,

I hate it when you never stop by even for a day,

I despise you because I’ve heard so much of this glee;

Those endless dreams of being spontaneously swept away,

By an angel whose wings will carry me to an unknown paradise?

Then I sigh and sigh and sigh till I tire to sigh any more,

Cautiously I try to live my lonely life in wise,

And thus avoid from being hurt and feeling sore,

But then one day you creep in on the sly;

Exactly when I have giving up in my quest for you;

I gaze in awe; I want to fly and fly and fly,

And ask myself a thousand of times if this is true,

With full of hopes and no time to waste,

I hold his hand, I thank you, and therefore I shall rest my case.

::azureus::

Sonnet analysis

This sonnet is written by someone who is in search of something vital in the life of a human, i.e.: ‘you’. The subject matter is about finding something divine and indescribable such as love, which here represented by the word ‘you’. The speaker would most probably be a woman because at the end of the sonnet, it is mentioned that the writer found what she was looking for and then held the hand of a male, i.e.: ‘I hold his hand…’. At the beginning of the sonnet, the poet describes her despair over her disability of capturing this element, love, i.e.: ‘I hate it when you never stop by even for a day’. She holds a hatred feeling towards love because she never experiences it, despite hearing about it all the time. She describes love as something that will take her away from all the misery, i.e.: ‘By an angel whose wings will carry me to an unknown paradise’. She gave up in her search but suddenly love came and gave her all that she wants i.e.: ‘Exactly when I have giving up in my quest for you’. At last, she did find love, and her quest is finally over when love came to her, ending all her loathing for love.  

This sonnet is written using the Shakespearean sonnet scheme, consisting of fourteen lines, with the rhyming scheme of ABABCDCDEFEFGG. The underlying theme of the sonnet is about a quest. This sonnet denotes a gloomy tone, where most of the words are about the despair of the writer in her quest for love, e.g.: ‘Then I sigh and sigh and sigh till I tire to sigh any more’. However, there is an interjection at near end of the sonnet which signifies hopefulness, i.e.: ‘But then one day you creep in on the sly’. The use of strong words such as ‘hate’ and ‘despise’ succeeded in making this sonnet sounds gloomy and depressing. Also, the repetition of words ‘sigh’, i.e.: ‘Then I sigh and sigh and sigh…’ adds a little effect to the hopefulness that the writer is trying to express. The language used in this sonnet is mostly moderate words that are usually used in everyday conversation. Some words such as ‘creep’ and ‘gaze’ give imagery to this sonnet, making the reader sense the intensity of the sonnet. The word ‘creep’, for instance, can make the imagination of a reader runs wild on how something appears slowly and unobvious.

From the beginning, there is a personification of the concept of ‘love’ as something that can move like a human such as the use of action verbs, e.g.: walk, ignore, stop and creep. These words personify love as something that moves like human do. The movements of love into the writer’s life is pictured as creeping cunningly, and appears when it is least expected. There is also the use of hyperbole by the exaggeration of the statement ‘By an angel whose wings will carry me to an unknown paradise’. The use of ‘angel’ here is considered as an overstatement because it compares the power of human to that of angel. The most important single word in this sonnet is the pronoun ‘you’, because this sonnet centres wholly on the search of ‘you’, the despair of writer towards it, and how the writer finally finds ‘you’.  

In all, this sonnet exploits human sense by providing another way to see the unseen things such as concepts, i.e.: love, in the same way as viewing the movements of living things. Also, the writer tries to make the reader feels that there’s always a silver lining at the end of cloud, because in this sonnet, the writer herself found what she’s been looking for, at the least expected time. There’s also another message that the writer tries to express in the sonnet that we should not giving up in whatever we do in our life, and that we should always keep reaching for our dreams.  

p/s: if you steal my poem, I might not know but my God does. And if you're agnostic, my God would still know.

p/ss: I could not believe that I already delved into conceptual metaphor when I wrote the analysis. I guess it's meant to be then.

Poem #3

I think I rambled about love a lot back then. Here's one of them:

In my dreams I see you beside me

Holding my hands like you’ll

Never let them go

In my eyes you’re the only one

That’s been my sight

For such a long time

That I’ve forgotten

What would life be without you?

p/s: if you steal my poem, I might not know but my God does. And if you're agnostic, my God would still know.

I want it that way

I was awake after a short nap and decided to turn on the TV. There was a show on channel E!, "15 awesomest boy bands ever" and guess what? Soon as I clicked on the channel, the number one boy band was about to be revealed. I present you, my biggest obsession between 1997 to 2002…BACKSTREET BOYS!

The poster in my room back in 2001

I remember seeing them for the first time on a local newspaper. According to E! they debuted in 1996 but for some reasons I only saw BSB in Malaysian media a year later. Now, we all know for each boy band there would always be that one person we really like a.k.a boy band member crush. At first I liked Nick but somehow I ended up going gaga over Kevin Scott Richardson. The proof can be seen in my "autograph book", that tweeny thing we have every year where friends and foes alike write a few words (or pages) of memories about us. Mine was filled with photos of my favourite artists.

Everywhere there would be Kevin's photo. And Mariah. They all know how much I love Mariah.

Kevin again. And Mariah.

There's also Mark from Westlife.

And Mariah.

To me, Backstreet Boys was is the epitome of a teen-age's need to look up to someone, and what better person to choose than someone (or five ones) who are famous worldwide with white teeth and innocent looks? Of course BSB has some kind of swag attached to their image but it's the innocent, boyish looks that first captured many young hearts at that time. And their songs…there aren't any swear words or bad examples, only hours or swooning about a girl (That's the way I like it, Get Down), going to a party (Let's Have a Party) or just simply telling people they're back (Backstreet's back, alright!).

My friend said to read this page every birthday for birthday wishes...from her and Kevin Ha ha ha!

I don't think there would ever be any other boy band that would take BSB's crown. Although that could easily be explained by the fact that I no longer go crazy for boy bands (k-pop was non-existent back then so Big Bang doesn't count in this discussion, OK) and I would probably have interest in boy band but the level of excitement would never be the same. I remember buying each album that came out from my meagre pocket money, going after posters in magazines, swapping posters with my pen pal from Germany, and worst of all, posters all over my room!

Kevin the hunky member of BSB.

Mariah, BSB and some other guy from another boy band. I think his name is Rich or Richie.

My favourite BSB song of all is, strangely, one that was not put forward as much as I'd love, entitled "If I don't have you". I have that song in every music player I have owned since 1997 i.e.: a bulky Sony Walkman, followed by a Slim Sony Walkman, Samsung MP3 players (two of them, of the same model with different colours) and finally my smartphone, not to mention all of my computers. Here are a few others that I used to listen to non-stop:

• What makes you different (makes you beautiful)
• That's what she said
• Don't wanna lose you now
• Spanish eyes
• Let's have a party
• and of course, the magical  -I'll never break your heart-

So many pictures!

Oh now I remember - my friends put Mark's photos because he looked like this guy I had a crush on from another school, who much much later became my boyfriend (now ex).

Thank you BSB, for all those supports that you probably never knew you gave to a teenager living with her single mother. I hope you have a big happy family (maybe they already do) and success in your every step of life. I love youuuuuuuu!

Poem #2 EL-OH-VEE-EE

I wrote this for an assignment when I did B. Ed. TESL. There was a classmate who didn't believe I am capable of writing a poem that rhymes but luckily I had Tasha sat by me when I wrote this poem. She came to my defence and tell everyone in class that I wrote this poem myself. I also wrote a sonnet for this course. I'll post it later. Enjoy!

::LOVE::

It touches your heart,

And leaves you sore,

Sometimes tears you apart,

It left you nothing but a bore.

Just like the falling rain,

There go your tears,

It comes along with the pain,

And all kinds of fears.

Sometimes love can also cure,

For a broken soul that’s dying,

When a help comes from a heart that’s pure,

Even a smile can send your heart soaring.

Feels like you’re free of danger,

With a shoulder to cry on,

Suddenly everyone else becomes stranger,

And all your fears are gone…

By: Missie Z.

p/s: if you steal my poem, I might not know but my God does. And if you're agnostic, my God would still know.

Poems of the olden days: Poem #1

I was browsing through the files in my external hard disk when I saw a folder named "WORDS". Curiosity got the better of me and I ended up reading the poems I wrote in my younger years. I must admit, it has been such a long time since I wrote any poem. Now I feel guilty for not doing it. 

I was writing the Literature Review (along with other chapters simultaneously) when I realised I am not as fast thinker as I used to be when it comes to writing nowadays. Perhaps those poem writing did help me when I wrote. I remember sitting at the table and come up with a full assignment in 2 hours (woke up at 6, delivered the assignment at 8 am, received good marks). I have no idea how I can do that, but I do realise I get a bit rusty lately. I could no longer do that. I know I don't read as much except for those darn journals and books, maybe I lack of imagination in writing because I neglect the simple joy of reading what I want.

To tell the truth I have tonnes of unread books on the shelves, a collection I gathered only quite recently during my two-year stay in KL. Before that I seldom buy books. I just don't think it's worth it. But in KL its different…there's Book Xcess and receiving that Book Voucher for IPTA students also played the part in me ending up with many unread books. I feel glad though, seeing that I will not run out of reading materials for another year or so. Anisa gave me two books last birthday and when we parted in December she asked me what I want as parting gifts, I pointed to the 6 masterpieces by Jane Austen. All unread as of today.

I have no idea what to post in this blog so I shall upload my poems one by one until I run out of poems and then I probably have to write new poems. Here's one I wrote when I was 14. I remember writing this on an exam writing pad and folding it many times so it fits in my school uniform pocket. I think I got the ideas from this story book my cousin gave me. The book was about fairies who lost the moon during a party or something. I lost the book but I'm glad to have this poem as a reminder of the book.

My Daffodils and Primroses

Daffodils,

Red, blue and white,

Primroses,

Indigo, yellow and white,

I watched them grow,

From a distance,

Beautiful as it seems,

But late in the spring,

Describe my happiness,

Late and undescriptive,

Is it happy?

Or is it sad?

Like old crusty crackers,

Never holds long enough,

My daffodils…and primroses!

p/s: if you steal my poem, I might not know but my God does. And if you're agnostic, my God would still know.